Back On Track

So it seems like forever since I have done an update and there have been so many things taking place I really don't know where to begin.

So my two year old is now a precocious three year old and is in school full time. I was really starting to feel bad for her because it seems like caring for Gabe seems to consume so much of our lives that I oftentimes feel like she is forgotten. Sometimes its a little hard to balance being able to give them both the time that they deserve. But now she is in school and she is loving it. I must say I nearly hyperventilated the first day she went. I kept wondering if she would get along with the other kids, if she would make friends just how well she would do in general. And the minute I dropped her off she made me feel foolish for ever having any kind of anxiety. She hopped right out of the car and never even looked back. So much for her missing me.

Then there is little man. He has seemed to just grow right before my eyes. I look at him and I don't see any traces of that tiny baby that was in the ICU with tubes coming from everywhere that had the doctors telling me that he was the sickest baby in the unit. All I see is my miracle. The one that clinically has the diagnosis of Down Syndrome but seems to continuously amaze all of his therapists with just how well he is doing. Its like I live in two worlds. One where I have a child that doesn't have alot of the major issues associated with Down Syndrome (like the heart problems or the extreme low muscle tone, or the problem with keeping down liquids etc) and the other where its the small things that remind me that he does have Down Syndrome (like the fact that he is 10 months old and still hasn't cut any teeth, or the fact that he still isn't pulling up or is hyper extending his back to compensate for the moderate low muscle tone). So the question remains how do you make the two co-exist? I often find myself constantly trying to do things that will help him develop on track without making him feel like his whole life is a Down Syndrome diagnosis.

I have become an expert at simply taking life one day at a time, but sometimes it seems as if I am living two lives in one day. My son is nothing short of amazing. Not because of all that he has accomplished but just because he IS. He has endured so much in such a short time. I mean when we were in the hospital they literally did everything but tell me that he wouldn't make it. And no matter what they thought he had other plans. I think he's decided that he is going to change what Down Syndrome looks, feels and acts like. Its no longer about putting people with the diagnosis in a box because that's simply an impossible task. I've just come to the conclusion that Gabriel is going to do what Gabriel wants to do when GABRIEL is ready to do it.